Rationalizations from Germany

Learning about the Holocaust is different from any other history lesson I ever received. Ever since I was a small child up until this very day, every time I learn about the Holocaust I have the same physical, emotional response. I feel a sharp, tingling sensation through my whole body that leads to chills mixed with rage, energy, and clenched fists.

I intentionally boycotted Germany during my 1998 trip through Western Europe. Eighteen years old then, I could not understand how a country could commit a crime such as the Holocaust. By visiting Germany, I felt as if I was somehow validating the Nazi crimes. Now twenty six, I still can’t comprehend the Holocaust. But two World Cups later, I realize that coming to Germany doesn’t validate the Holocaust any more than visiting the US validates the slaughtering of the Native Americans. As great a moral blunder the Holocaust and the Native American genocide were, it is also a moral blunder to harbor ill will towards a child for the sins of the father.

As soon as it was announced that Germany would be hosting the 2006 World Cup, I have been slowly coming to grips with the fact that I would be visiting Germany. Should I visit the camps? This is the question that has been racking my brain for a while now. My fanatical obsession with soccer has forced me to come to Germany before I was ready to visit its darkest regions, not so far away from the World Cup circuit. Every so often while flipping through my Lonely Planet guidebook I accidentally turn to the page of a concentration camp. I keep flipping because I’ve realized I’m not ready; emotionally, spiritually, conceptually to visit these horrific places. In this past year I have visited the Pakistani earthquake region where I saw mass grave upon mass grave. Yet, I could come to grips with this because it was God, or Mother Nature, or supernatural forces, who was ultimately responsible. Why is it so much more difficult to accept a crime perpetrated by humanity? Or is humanity simply an extension of God by virtue of being created by God?

Another reason I am not visiting the camps on this trip is an egocentric one. I want to show Germany that I do not judge the Germans of today because of where they were born. Let’s face it, only a small percentage of Germans today were around during the Holocaust. While the culture and camps remain, the minds, bodies, and souls are totally different. How can I hold a grudge? Today’s Germany is one of the most tolerant and truly free places on the planet.

I spend most of my time here thinking about things I would normally think about. Yet every so often the most inane, trivial things remind me of the Holocaust and where I am in the world. I think about it every time I get on a train here. Once the air conditioning on a train didn’t work and I stood up to quickly make sure the window opened. Yesterday, the trains did a marvelously efficient job of taking people to the stadium but were not nearly as efficient on the way back. Hmmm. Today I went to eat at Subway and I had to eat stale bread because the ovens were broken. “If only that could have happened to the ovens 60 years ago” is the absurdly comical thought that came to my mind.

Besides for these obvious psychological triggers, most of my moments in Germany are spent very much in the present. I went to the World Cup match between the US and Czech Republic with two Elvis impersonators from the US for a piece I did for Current. Walking around filming these Soccer Elvi, as they’re known in plural, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened to these bizarre creatures in the Holocaust. “Would Hitler have killed Soccer Elvis?” As we were riding in the car, our Arian taxi driver smiled all the way to the game. He began talking politics without me even prodding him. He remarked that Germany’s president today, Horst Koehler, is different from any German president of the past. As part of his ceremonial duties, Koehler was in attendance for Germany’s World Cup opener against Costa Rica. He also visited Israel’s Holocaust Memorial Yad Vashem last year. The cab driver said that for the first time since the war, the German president is telling the German people to hold their heads up and be proud to be Germans. That just because you are proud to be German doesn’t mean you are a Nazi anymore.

Soccer Elvis, Captain America, Indian Soccer Elvis, and Evil Kneivel

Indian Elvis and Policeman

Soccer Elvis doing coochy coochy coo

Me in Gelsenkirchen just before kick off